GuilT

There's a sense of guilt I feel, for being so consumed by this.
There's an anxious, overwhelming, selfish guilt I identify with; especially when my mom has cancer.

I feel ridiculous, most times, obsessing over this.
Over and over and over.

Despite my best intentions, I often fall short.
When my thoughts are clear, I think about how brave, strong, and independent I am. 
I think about how helpful I can be, how compassionate I am towards others.

When my thoughts are clouded, guilt, anxiety, and fear set it.
I cannot shake those thoughts.

While my mom has cancer,
I'm worried about getting pregnant.

I am almost embarrassed to be sad for myself.
I feel ashamed for being so selfish.


- Heather