It's not that I'm.........

It's not that I'm ungrateful.

I look around at my life, and truly honestly believe without a doubt that I am blessed.

I'm blessed with more than I could ever ask for.

It's not that I'm lacking.

I have many people who love me, care for me, and think highly of me, and know what a wonderful, honest, loving person I am.

It's not that I'm not trusting.

I trust that this will all work out. I honestly, somewhere in my heart, truly believe this. I trust that the plans I have for myself are small in comparison what my life will really be like.

It's that I can't forget.

I can't forget the longing, wants, and hope.

I can't forget the what if's, the uncertainty, and the sadness.

I cannot shake this thought.

Within a second, it comes crashing back into my life usually unexpected and unplanned.

Even the brightest days hold an eerie sense of darkness,

as though I am constantly waiting for something that may never come.

- Heather