It feels embarrassing to talk about infertility.
Such an intimate, private, and delicate subject.
It feels embarrassing to share such personal details. Telling complete strangers things I myself would feel awkward even telling my closest friends. It's expected that we share these openly, freely, and without hesitation.
It's not normal.
It's embarrassing to try to explain myself. I find myself wanting to give excuses for why my body may be acting a certain way or self diagnosing. You feel embarrassed and powerless. My independent, self assured, free spirit feels overtaken. Despite all my positive efforts I've made in my life, you feel embarrassed because it seems like it's your fault. It's your own fault you can't have children. Whether this is true or not, doubt sets in.
It's embarrassing even writing about it. I don't even give any details, and it embarrasses me.
I dont' like needing help.
I don't like that my own body will not do what it's meant to do.
I don't like sharing my private life with public people.
It's embarrassing.
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