CAN'T

It's easier to believe in doubt than hope.

Imagining the worst case scenario seems realistic. 

It takes strength to have hope.
It takes optimism, resilience, character, and trust.

I feel broken down by the weight of this all.
Crushed into a smaller, less capable version of myself.
Spirit demolished.

Trying to get over something that remains constant is like
Staring at the sun without looking away. 
Running through rain while staying dry.
Closing your eyes and navigating your way through traffic.

Impossible.

It feels impossible.
I feel that there is no end. There is no cure. There is no answer.

I know what I should do. I know what advice I should take. I know the steps I should follow.

Should.
Should.
Should.

can't. -Heather